Nostalgic

Someone said I was getting unfeminine & too strong for what its worth.
Guys will get scared.
Do I need to explain myself for the way I am ?

Im in a foreign country, whose going to look out for me if I dont do so myself ?
I guess I havent really moved on from where I thought I had long been gone from.

As I think about the things we used to do and say , I want to start-over from where we left off.

And I'm getting tired of waiting . I have my life to lead and because of different reasons, I just dont see why there's no compromise on your part.

I'm always on the go, on the move, will you try? Dont you have the means to now ?

The difference between you and me , is that I dont want to give it up unless you force me to.

Why wont you even take that god-damn step now ?

I've stopped believing in you and worked on experiencing life in my own terms ,so what do you want from me now ?

It's been close to 4 years. Wont you at least give me a proper closure ?

Fantasies ?

I kinda missed the fun we had.
Like the late-nights and the stuff which was IcantbelieveIactually told u and then now,
it's all making me feel like I want it again.

All the mind games .. I think right now, you would have mellowed and I would have too,
if we were to do it again , I dont think I have the creativity and the stamina.

Wont you take a leap ? If you would, that would give me the certainty and courage to take that leap too.

I remember it now, you simply didnt care enough.
Or was it your tough exterior ?

Or maybe it was just because we never really got it together.
That's making me curious and hopeful.

Right now , if only you could see pass the circumstances and what caused the drift,
I will do the same.

Leverage , just show me you've missed me.

Let's not waste time anymore.
I've stayed in 2 countries & went through so much. If you didnt know better,it would have appeared that I've moved on.

Dont disappoint me again. They say only time can tell, its now time for me to truly tell what the heck you want.

Whiny.

I really do like studying .
And all things, fine and exquisite.
I have friends who are already at the top, the pinnacle.
Who are lucky in love and in wealth.
They must be the happiest people alive.
Born w silver spoons & no dirty drama .

Ok bottomline is , I just cant get started studying .

SAVE ME FROM THE EVIL HANDS OF PROCASTINATION.

I blog shit stuff.

Oh crap, I'm hungry again !

Ramaged thru YouTube and I'm hooked , hook line & sinker , to WGM - JoKwon & Gain.
It's fun to watch someone insane pair up with someone chic & cool.

My updates include :
Missing out on friends' invites to farewells ( I dont go well w farewells) and movie outings, dinner gatherings.
I'm sorry, right now, I'm very much preoccupied with not failing.

Times like this, I wished I hadnt just succumbed to the endless amount of work & not fork out time to revise, instead I kept giving myself day offs every week just to escape from the never-ending amount of work.

And I dont know what comes out of all these assignments , projects and lab reports, for I sure as hell dont learn anything from doing introduction, description of apparatus ,results discussion and conclusions. Why do they want to side-track us so much?

The only thing now is that I'm way more independent and well away from all the stupid family distractions which I think just hinders anyone's work / self- progress. And that I mean the extended family thingies.

So, even though there are things which cause much unhappiness & stress, I'm still relatively happy & managing quite fine .

I just have to absolutely abstain from eating and fight the temptation to YouTube all the time.