Spurts of writer's inspiration.

Like passion's ebbs and flow. Sudden surge of blah. I feel like writing another entry.
The good thing is that , nobody cares . I'm just feeding my ego as always . Have I turned into a delusional insane self-reprimanding twisted bitter bitch ?

I must have . Because all that is racing in my mind are swearing words. I want to say , hey , I love you , I'm so glad I found u, but now ... I just find myself saying ... " what the fuck do you think you're going to be doing to me ?"

Its so much of pushing away . Innate . Un-trusting .
I'm so darn scared.

The fear of screwing up. The fear of being thoroughly known throughout. The fear of having all flaws exposed.

And partying endlessly and alcohol has no effect. It doesnt solve the problems empty shit-heads.

I feel so horrible and I cant get up and I dont need any help.

Just something like a pain-killer and some form of hope.

Or just desensitize me further. please.